


Death Dreams

by Jld71



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Exhaustion, Gen, Hurt Dean Winchester, Insomnia, Tired Dean Winchester, care and comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26527465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jld71/pseuds/Jld71
Summary: Dean has been having nightmares, ones that he can’t shake, even when he’s awake.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	Death Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [red_b_rackham](https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_b_rackham/gifts).



> Do Not Re-Post Without My Written Permission - Only To Be Posted On My AO3 Or LiveJournal Accounts.
> 
> Beta: firesign10 & jerzcaligirl
> 
> Written for the 2020 Summergen Fic Exchange
> 
> Recipient: red_b_rackham
> 
> Based on the prompt: Dean’s having horrific nightmares.

Dean jolted awake covered in a fine sheen of sweat and shaking. He drew in a deep breath, held it, counting silently to himself until he reached ten and then exhaled with a swoosh of breath. He repeated this several times until he had control over his breathing and his shaking had stopped. He stared up at the darkened ceiling, too afraid to close his eyes. If he did, he’d only see the images from his nightmare again; the ones he tried so desperately to push from his mind; images of Sam’s body, twisted and broken, covered in blood, lifeless hazel eyes staring up at nothing, mouth open in a silent scream or a plea for Dean to save him. He had been having these dreams, nightmares really, for several weeks, always doing his best to push them away during his waking hours, but now, he was having a hard time doing even that. He wasn’t sleeping much, if at all. He had been doing his best to hide it from Sam, but that only seemed to last for so long. Sam had noticed the difference in him, commenting on it, asking him what was wrong, why he was off his game. He had always managed to change the subject, but now, with him being so tired, he couldn’t even manage that. 

Running a hand down his face, Dean did his best to get himself under control, reminding himself it was only a dream. Sam was safe. Sam was alive and whole. There was nothing to worry about. Pushing aside the blanket that covered him, he sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and stood. He was awake now, and he knew there was no way he was going back to sleep. It was like this every night. He’d sleep for an hour or two if he was lucky, dream, wake from his nightmare, and then spend the rest of the night pacing his room or the corridors of the bunker, doing his best not to wake Sam. The lack of sleep was beginning to take its toll on him. He knew it, and Sam was beginning to suspect something was up, and he couldn’t muster up an excuse. 

Making his way into the kitchen, Dean grabbed a bottle of water and then leaned against the sink, draining the bottle dry before tossing it in the trash. He stood there, in the middle of the room, looking around, trying to figure out what he was doing. He shook his head, trying to clear the fog from his mind. With a heavy sigh, he turned and made his way into the library and practically fell into his chair. He ran his fingers over the initials he and Sam’s had carved into the table before grabbing his laptop. Pulling it closer to him, he flipped it open and clicked on his emails, scanning through them until one caught his attention; an email from Jody asking his opinion on a possible case she was working on. 

Closing down his emails, he eyed the clock. It was only twelve-thirty in the morning. If he left now, he could be in Sioux Falls, South Dakota by the time Jody got in to her office. With that thought, he quickly scribbled a note for Sam, letting him know he was out on a case, not to worry, and he would be back soon. Pushing himself away from the table he made his way back to his room, changed into his jeans, t-shirt, a flannel shirt, and his boots. Within twenty minutes, he had his packed bag on the backseat of the Impala and he was on the highway.

/0\

“Hey, Jody,” Dean said, standing in the doorway to her office at the Sioux Falls sheriff’s office. 

Looking up from her desk and the file she had been reading, Jody stared at Dean in shock. “Dean, it’s good to see you,” she said as she stood up, hazel eyes moving past him searching for Sam. “Sam’s not with you?”

“No,” Dean offered with a shake of his head. “I got your email and well, figured I could help you out with the case.” Dean shrugged his shoulders and offered her a sheepish, if not tired, smile. 

“Oh, I’m really not sure if there’s a case.” Jody pointed to the file on her desk. “It may not be supernatural in nature.” 

“Still, I thought I could offer you my expertise. How about we grab some breakfast and you show me what you have in that file? I really could use some coffee.” 

Smiling fondly at Dean, Jody chuckled. “Sure, Dean, sounds like a plan. Just give me a minute.” She studied Dean, giving him a once over, noting his paler than normal skin and the dark circles surrounding his sunken eyes. To her, it looked like Dean needed a good eight hours of sleep, maybe seven times over. “You okay there? You look a little tired.”

“Just road-weary, ya know.” Dean shrugged again, giving Jody a small smile. He wasn’t in the mood to have a heart-to-heart talk with Jody or anyone at the moment. He wanted to throw himself into the potential case and forget about his nightmares, and the fact that he wasn’t sleeping. 

“Okay, why don’t you go grab us a table at the diner and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes?” Jody continued to watch Dean closely. Something was off with him. The email she had sent didn’t require him showing up in Sioux Falls. All he had to do was respond to the email, give his opinion. If, after that, she felt she needed his and Sam’s help, she would have asked. 

“Yeah, sure,” Dean agreed with a nod of his head and then proceeded to leave, walking the short distance to the diner. 

As soon as Dean was gone, Jody grabbed her phone. “Sam, it’s Jody. Dean’s here. What’s going on with him?”

“Yeah, I just saw his note,” Sam said groggily into the phone. He had wandered from his bedroom in search of Dean, only to find that Dean had left in the middle of the night. “Something’s wrong, I just don’t know what it is.”

“Got it. I’ll see if I can’t get Dean to talk to me. Maybe you boys just need some time apart. Sit tight. I’ll call you if there’s anything you need to be aware of.”

“Thanks, Jody,” Sam responded, before ending their call.

With a sigh, Jody grabbed the file and headed out to the diner to meet up with Dean. Sliding into the seat across from him, she placed the file down on the table in front of herself and then clasped her hands together over it. “Spit it out. What’s going on? I just talked to Sam. He had no idea you were coming here.”

“I left him a note,” Dean said as he sat back in his chair and pouted. He fiddled with his coffee mug, his left hand clutched it while he ran the fingers of his right hand around the rim. “It’s not like I took off without a word. Besides, I’m a grown-ass man.”

“Did you boys have a fight?”

Dean’s eyes widened in surprise. “What? No, we didn’t have a fight. Why would you think that? What did Sam tell you?”

“Just that you left in the middle of the night. He got up and found your note. That’s not like you. So, again, I’m gonna ask, what’s going on?” She placed a hand on Dean’s wrist, giving it a squeeze in hope that he’d open up to her. “Dean, I’m not going to show you this file unless you talk to me.”

Pulling away from Jody’s touch, Dean ran a hand down his face. He was bone-weary, but it wasn’t from the drive, it was from lack of sleep. He was becoming an insomniac. He was used to getting only three to four hours of sleep, but now, he was getting less than that. He averaged an hour a night of sleep, if he was lucky, and that sleep was plagued with nightmares. Nightmares of Sam dying right in front of his eyes. In his nightmares, he was never able to save Sam, always getting there too late to help his brother. He looked into Jody’s eyes and saw concern for him reflecting in them. He heaved a heavy sigh, knowing there was no way he was going anywhere, or getting his hands on the file, until he opened up to her. “I haven’t been sleeping all that well, okay?”

“And?” Jody softly coaxed. Now that she had Dean talking, she wasn’t about to let him stop. 

“I’m hardly sleeping. Been having nightmares,” Dean finally admitted. In truth, he was a wreck. He couldn’t close his eyes without seeing the images from his nightmares. Even when he was awake, had his eyes open, he still got glimpses of Sam, bloody and broken and dead. There was nothing he could do to push them away, and he wanted them gone from his mind. He was exhausted, and barely functioning. He needed a break from everything, especially his nightmares, but he didn’t think that would be happening any time soon. 

“Everyone has them. I mean, I’d be surprised if you didn’t have them, given your line of work.”

“They’re not about monsters, or anything we hunt,” Dean said in a low voice, forcing Jody to lean forward in order to hear him. 

“Dean, what are they about?”

“They’re just nightmares. I don’t really remember them,” Dean said, not meeting Jody’s eyes as he lied to her. He knew if he looked at her right now, he’d spill his guts and he couldn’t deal with that, not now. He couldn’t give a voice to his fears that his nightmares were death omens. 

“Have you said anything to Sam about the nightmares?” Jody asked, and then watched as a look of shock passed over Dean’s features. She pursed her lips together. “I’ll take that as a no. Dean, you need to talk to Sam, tell him about your nightmares. It’s the only way to work through whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

Dean did his best not to roll his eyes at Jody, knowing she wouldn’t hesitate to slap him upside his head if he showed her any disrespect. He slouched down in his chair, dropping his eyes to his hands as he clutched his coffee in them. “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

Sam had been prodding at him, trying to get him to talk. He just couldn’t get himself to open up; it wasn’t the Winchester way, despite Sam’s ability and desire to talk about his feelings. He wished he could just unload what was on his mind, what he was feeling, but their father had drilled into him that a Winchester never showed emotion or discussed his feelings. 

“I’m guessing there’s more to this, but I’m not gonna pry. Just know that you can tell me anything and I’ll listen. Judgement free zone here,” Jody assured Dean before pushing the file toward him.

“Thanks,” Dean murmured as he picked up the file and began to read it. “Not much here,” he said as he scanned the contents; one dead male body found outside in the woods, throat cut, puncture wounds around his throat, arms and torso, and most of his blood was gone. 

“Told you, might not be anything supernatural,” Jody said over her coffee mug before taking a sip. She continued to watch Dean as he read through the file. His hands were shaking, making the papers flap back and forth as he held them. 

“Maybe, but it’s worth checking it out. I’m here after all. Seems like a waste to come all this way and not to look into it,” Dean said as he placed the file down between them. “No blood was found at the crime scene. Possible body dump, or something else?” In his line of work, he had seen it all, humans pretending to be normal when they were just as sick as the things he and Sam hunted.

“That’s why I wanted your opinion. With just the one body, it just could be some sicko torturing the victim, doing his or her best to throw us off,” Jody explained as she looked into Dean’s tired green eyes.

“Maybe,” Dean agreed with a shrug of his shoulders. 

/0\

Another body showed up with the same MO two days after Dean rolled into town, clueing them in to the fact that they had at least one vampire in their midst. Not wanting anyone else to die while he was there, Dean set off from bunking at Jody’s in search of the vampire’s nest, finding it in an old abandoned building on the outskirts of town, close to where the bodies were found. 

When he stumbled upon the nest, he barely had the conscious thought to inform Jody before he was making his way inside, on a mission to take out what was killing innocent civilians. The last thing he heard before he ended the call to Jody was her telling him to stay where he was, and wait for her before he went inside. As if on autopilot, he made his way inside to find four vampires using the building as their nest. Being alone, he wasn’t prepared for one to rise from its bed, take one look at him and the machete in his hands, and attack, waking the others. 

Dean found himself surrounded by all four, doing his best and failing at killing them, but managed to fend them off. The lack of sleep slowed his reflexes and impaired his focus on one vampire, let alone four. If it hadn’t been for Jody showing up when she had, he might have ended up as the vampires’ personal blood bag. It was bad enough he had been injured in the fight; one of the vampires had managed to cut him. He still wasn’t sure how or with what, but his left arm hurt like a son of a bitch, and he was bleeding. 

“Damn it, Dean, what were you thinking?” Jody huffed our in anger as she looked down at the beheaded vampires. “I told you to wait for me!”

“Sorry, I saw an opportunity and I took it,” Dean said, grudgingly.

“Yeah, was that opportunity the one where you got killed?” Jody asked, as she raised her eyes from the bodies to look at Dean. “Dean, you’re hurt,” Jody breathed out at seeing the hunter holding his left arm to his side, his right hand was covered in blood as he applied pressure to his wound. 

“It’s nothing,” Dean grunted through the pain radiating from his shoulder. 

“It’s not nothing, you’re bleeding,” Jody commented as she swept a hand at Dean. “What the hell is going on with you? You just show up, decide to go on a hunt by yourself, despite me telling you to wait for me, and then you get yourself hurt. Sam’s gonna be pissed when he finds out.” 

Dean winced at Jody’s words, knowing she was right. When Sam found out, he wasn’t just going to be pissed, Sam was never gonna let him live it down. “Sam doesn’t have to find out.”

Jody frowned at Dean. “Let’s finish up here and then, we’re going to talk when we get back to my place.” She watched as Dean started to open his mouth, ready to protest, and she held up a hand, stopping him. “No, Dean, we’re talking, and that’s final.”

/0\

With the nest dealt with, and Dean’s injury taken care of, Dean sat slumped on Jody’s couch with his eyes closed and his head tipped back, resting on the back of the couch. He didn’t move until he felt the couch dip as Jody joined him, knocking her arm against his right one, offering him a beer. Raising his head and opening his eyes, he gave her an appreciative smile as he accepted the beer. “Thanks, I needed this.”

“Okay, spill, and I’m not taking no for an answer. You were completely off your game today. It’s bad enough that you got hurt. You could have gotten yourself killed. You’re not sleeping, you’re having nightmares. You won’t talk to Sam, so talk to me,” Jody coaxed in a soft, but firm voice. “What are these nightmares about?”

Dean stared at the beer in his hand, trying to work up the courage to confide in Jody. “The nightmares, They’re about Sam. Sam - Sam dying. I can never get to him in time. I can’t save him. When I do get to him, he’s just lying there, broken and bloody, his lifeless eyes looking up at me like he’s accusing me of not getting there in time, for not saving him.” Dean shuddered at the memory of the nightmare he’d had the night before, one where Sam’s lifeless body was lying in a pool of his own blood, unseeing hazel eyes looking up at him, a trail of blood trickling out from his parted lips, lips that looked like Sam had been calling out for him. Whether he closed his eyes or not, he couldn’t get away from those images. “I can’t lose him. Sam’s the only family I have,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even complain, not after what you’ve dealt with, losing your husband and son.”

“Oh, Dean,” Jody breathed out and then enveloped him in a hug. “Everyone is frightened of losing the one person that matters the most to them. It’s only natural to be scared. Your line of work doesn’t make it easy; the things you’ve hunted, killed, what you’ve dealt with. You still have Sam. He’s alive and healthy. He’s your blood, but he’s not the only family you have. No matter what, you’re not alone, you hear me?”

“Yeah, Jody, I hear you, and thanks for listening,” Dean said, giving her a tight hug before pulling away from her.

“Good, now I’m gonna go make us something to eat,” Jody announced as she pushed herself up from the couch, disappearing into the kitchen. When she returned, ready to call Dean to the table for dinner, she found him sound asleep. Not wanting to wake him, she covered him with a blanket, letting him get the sleep he needed.

Breathing deeply, Dean stretched, rolling the muscles in his shoulders before pushing aside the blanket that covered him. Looking around, he sat up to find that it was no longer night, but early morning. He dragged a hand down his face, marveling at the fact that he had slept the entire night, not waking once, and he hadn’t had a single nightmare. Maybe by talking about his nightmares, voicing his fear of losing Sam had done the trick. All he knew was that he had finally gotten the uninterrupted sleep he had so desperately needed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Images found on Google


End file.
